Jodster wrote:


Excellent jodes!!!



Great stuff!

You know, support from others is always great, but you don't NEED support or permission from others. (great if you can get it)
I am sure that all the most successful people in the world find support and strength from within, and don't need anyone.
Not to say that it is not healthy to WANT support from family and friends, but it should not be a "show stopper" if it's not there.

I think that this is where you are Jodes. You're getting on with it and not letting anyone tell you you can't do it.

Of course we are not all super-human machines (one friend comes to mind who is, but I know they still like support) so support is sometimes needed. This can come from a Mentor, partner or friend. And this could be appreciated as something very special, not something that they are obliged to give.

A very basic rule of thumb for any Aspie - The best way to make friends or create a connection with others is to offer your help, assistance and/or support. It is what people who are a part of a team and/or society do.

Never underestimate how much it means to people to be offered support or help. Perhaps paradoxically, the closer you are to the person the more the offer to support or help is appreciated.

On the opposite side of the coin - never over-estimate the negative impact "UNSOLICITED ADVICE" can have on an Aspie.
It is often seen as criticism, no matter how nicely you word things.

So be careful to not confuse support and advice

Another rule of thumb I just invented - the best (only? ) time to give advice to an Aspie is when the ASK for it

Where does that leave me right now?????? I just gave all this unsolicited advice

I think maybe generic advice that is not directed at any one individual is not a bad way to communicate it.

Thanks Rob
You are right as always! I am just getting on with it, regardless of who might say or act negatively.

I have now (due to my persistence) gotten my 4th booking, and am going to be starting my Tupperware parties next weekend!!

I managed to sell Tupperware to my mum who said she hated it.
I also got my last party booked by using initiative and overcoming obstacles, so I was very proud of myself

S has still been a bit funny about the whole thing, but he's better now than he was at the start.
I think that's because he saw how quickly I got things rolling, and how passionate and committed I have been.
(It is my newsest special interest after all!)

Having been a Tupperware customer for so long, and I've been to so many parties, I know a load of information about the products, so there's not too much I have to learn, which is great.

Thanks for your support Rob, it means a lot.
I do appreciate support from S, and I hope he can give a bit more once he realises I CAN do it

Jodster

I was wondering if S support seems low because you are so excited about your new interest and when people are excited about things we talk about it.

(Sometimes I find that Aspies talk a lot/ too much about their latest interest and this can drive NTs and others crazy)

I am so happy for you that you have parties booked, I enjoy going to tuperware parties and playing the games and winning the prizes.

Che

Why do people have to be so nasty??
I have copped nothing but grief from the directiors of my company, and now a manager as well, and no one seems to think it's worth doing anything about.

It feels like they are taking it in turns to have a go at me for THINGS THAT AREN'T EVEN MY FAULT!!!

And somehow I'm the one in the wrong for pointing out their faults and inadequacies, and the fact that they are having a go at me for things I haven't even done. I've been doing my job, and can PROVE that what they are saying is not true, but then I'm being rude by showing them these things....

This work sucks....

Jodster wrote:

Eek! Sounds like you're getting a bad case of "shoot the messenger".

It may be hard, but I think you need a way to gently remind them of the facts. You need to be gentle with them, because they're managers and they have a lot of power over you. That sucks, but that's the way business is; that's not going to get changed any time soon.

Stay positive, and hold your ground. Good luck!

jodster wrote
Why do people have to be so nasty??
not only are they nasty but ive found most to be down right mean, for example how many of you aspies have been invited to weddings, 21sts etc during your life? how many have been demoted for being honest and putting the companys interest first? do you all, like me have a deep heart felt hurt due to the way you have been treated during your lives? i have great difficulty getting my wife and 4 adult children to communicate, is this common?